Moving not "abandoning" anyone!

Hello readers,

I have some news to share, and it's somewhat huge: I'm moving to Jerusalem! After much deliberation and consideration I have come to the decision that I want to finish my second year of Sherut Leumi (still can't decide if I should be a doctor or not, so not the most intelligent decision to run off to start studying anything yet) and I want to do it in the holy capital. There were many components to the decision including my utter disdain for my current living situation, my lack of friends in the area, and my general feelings that this isn't the part of the country I want to live in. I began to feel like I was on the bus all the time to Jerusalem as I was last year. I also really want to help my married siblings and I physically can't reach them during the week with the buses because it takes too long and I'm not able to get back to my apartment in time for work the next day. Essentially I have every other reason to move except for the department that I work in, which is nice to me and I enjoy working there.

This decision was difficult to make, and had many factors. A while ago I had inquired of my Rabbi, only somewhat in jest, what I should do with my life. The Rabbi's answer was direct and simple: "If you see a sign, it means yes." This sentence has been simmering in the back of my mind ever since. When my sister and I had decided we wanted to move to Jerusalem we began looking for positions on the internet. At first I received no leads. I tried again asking for names of coordinators instead of the position itself and this time obtained some information. I called the coordinators at all the major hospitals and received the same answers: "Sorry we have no openings for that position. You could do something else if you'd like." One lady even went so far as to kindly explain that the position of a medical assistant is so specific it is not the kind of thing that opens up in the middle of the year. I realized Jerusalem wasn't for me at this time and that I wasn't supposed to move yet. I was resigned and accepting.

Two days later I received a text saying that actually a position had just opened up asking if it was still relevant to me. I made some phone calls and the same woman who two days before had told me they never open up positions mid-year said that a new Internal ward had opened up and they needed a Medical Assistant (a.k.a. a vampire like myself). The woman told me she thought the position had fallen from the heavens--SIGN NUMBER ONE. We met the next day, and I was immediately accepted (they didn't have any other prospects) and not only that, but it's in the same branch of my current Sherut Leumi program making transfering very easy and not involving any paper work--SIGN NUMBER TWO. Next I was told I should be in touch with the coordinator in charge of apartments. I called her and was told she has exactly one empty spot in an apartment in Kiryat Moshe, which is a religious neighborhood right by the central bus station. I couldn't ask for a more perfect location--SIGN NUMBER THREE.

For the first time in a long while, everything was just falling into place for me. Things just kept working. It was an incredible feeling. I began to understand what the Rabbi meant. So far a few parts have been sad, like saying goodbye to my current department, and the one family that I babysit for and love to pieces, but they've been surprisingly understanding. I'm learning that Israelis are really tough. Their ability to accept and process bad news is amazing. Mostly they have started by being surprised and sad, and then said things like "Okay then, well good luck." "Shira we'll be sad but you have to do what is best for you." These sentiments have really heartened me. I struggle a lot with letting people down, and it's really hard for me to tell people I'm leaving them to go do something else. I'm growing a lot from this experience.

My roommates still have no idea how much I despise some of them (I obviously do not hate them all, but a select and loud minority I find impossible to live with). I think here people just assume if you have a problem you will air it out to everyone so if you're not verbally complaining everything must be just dandy. I'm not from a culture like that. I will always be polite to the people I board with, even if I hate their guts and wish them miles and miles away. Truth be told, my deparment also seems suprised because when I'm at work I look happy and fine, but they don't realize outside of work my life in Kfar Saba is dry and lifeless. They don't realize this because I don't talk about my problems at work! It's not really professional or relevant to them. Sigh, very very different cultures.

Another cultural difference is that the word used when someone leaves is עוזב (abandon) but I refuse to tell people I'm abandoning anyone or any place. I am quit simply, MOVING. I have gotten into arguments with people but I remain strong and refuse to say I'm abandoning. This small linguiscal difference has cultural affects. Abandoning has a negative context, almost as if a guilt trip is built in. Israelis think "No, that's just how we say it. It's the word we use and we all know what it means." This is very true, but I feel it carries with it an ominous undertone.

Well that's all for now. Wish me luck with my new adventure and if you're in Jerusalem do come call on me!

I remain yours etc.,
Shira

אז זהו עוד שלב שעובר אבל יהיה טוב בסוף. קצת קשה לי עכשיו אבל זה מאוד טבעי ויעבור. אני מחכה עד שיהיה גם כל כך ברור מה אלמד והאם אהיה רופאה בסוף או לא. כמו תמיד תודה לה" על כל העזרה שלו.

Translation: So that's it, another level that is passing but it will be good in the end. It is a little hard for me now, but is natural and will pass. I'm waiting until it will also be clear what I will learn and if I will be a doctor in the end or not. Like always, thanks to G-d for all his help.