A Typical Afternoon in an Israeli Cafe--A Thoroughly Atypical Experience!

Hello Readers!

Happy Friday to you all. Brr, it's cold up here!
This week I would like to share with you a funny story that happened at a cafe this week:

Last month for my English birthday I received from the hospital a gift card to a cafe for a cup of coffee and a pastry. This past week was my Hebrew birthday, so I decided to go to the cafe with a friend of mine in celebration so I could use my gift card. We went right after work at about 4:00 pm. From the moment we entered, the whole setting was nothing but Israeli. It was somewhat bustling and as we neared the till to place our order a short blonde woman in a training-suit-type outfit started barking orders at the baristas. We noticed then that there was actually some construction going on in the cafe. Laborers were changing the wall paper and putting up framed photographs of various poses of coffee. All this during business hours!

After placing our order, we moved to sit down. Of course, the table had a whole tray of sugars and lids because there were photos being put up in the corner where the tray usually sat. As we waited for our coffees, we watched in fascination as the little blonde woman fluttered about yelling at the laborers about how to center the photographs and pestering the baristas to make the coffees faster. About five minutes later it dawned on me that this woman, who seemed to me to belong at the gym, must actually be either the manager or owner! I continued to survey her, mesmerized as I saw her cleaning up trash while asking the laborer she had just told off "do you have something to drink? Is this cola yours? Good!"

Eventually I realized I would have to physically approach the counter if I wanted our cappuccinos to arrive this century so I got up to go over and stand by the counter--my physical presence reminding the overworked baristas that I had ordered. Some minutes later, our cappuccinos finally in hand, my friend and I settled comfortably into our seats to try and have a relaxing discussion, despite the hullabaloo going on all around us. Suddenly, I noticed one photograph that had just been hung up (not with a nail, but rather with sticky tack on the back) seemed wrong. I stared for a long while and then concluded that it was upside down! I take a fair amount of photographs of coffee so I was fairly confidant of my assessment. 

I debated with myself if I should do the "Israeli" thing and tell them, or just keep this small piece of knowledge to myself. I gave in with a "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" and stopped the next barista passing by. "Excuse me, but that picture is upside down." I don't know what I was anticipating her reaction to be--perhaps denial? or a polite "I'll check into it," or any number of ordinary responses. What I definitely did not expect was her to cock her head, actually dip her skull a full ninety degrees to the side and mutter "Hmmm..." Then she frantically asked the laborer if he could still change the orientation of the photograph or was the tack already dry. I hadn't noticed, but this had become the central happening of the cafe as customers and workers alike waited with bated breath to see what would happen next. Working quickly, they flipped the photo to a communal sigh of consensus and a loud "hupa!" 

All continued on as usual then, and I got back to my date with my friend. I was feeling quite self-satisfied with the proceedings and chuckling to myself at my "only-in-Israel" experience. My American friend was still shocked by my Chutzpah. As we were preparing to depart I saw one laborer gazing intently at the photograph and then angrily declaring to the manager/owner "You know what? now it's upside down to me! I think it was right the other way!" 

I left grinning. What a typical afternoon in an Israeli cafe! The only thing missing in this picture was some well-meaning stranger trying to set me up with their son. Maybe next time... :D 

Here's the photo--I knew you're all so Israeli and therefore need to see the photo for yourselves. :D

***

One other incident happened this week. Because I am leaving my department at the hospital, I want to buy a present for the secretary because she has always been overwhelmingly kind and patient with me, and over the last year we have grown somewhat close. She has several plants in her office, so the obvious choice is to purchase a tasteful watering can for her. 

I happened to be at a large mall last week so I entered a quaint gift shop full of knick-knacks, hopeful I would find exactly what I was looking for. I combed the store to no avail, there was no watering pail in sight. I decided I would have to ask the clerk. Of course, I have no idea how to say watering can in Hebrew. I stubbornly refused to ask in English, despite the fact that I was in a major mall in Tel Aviv and obviously they would also understand English. 

Swallowing my pride I jotted "watering can" into Google translate and got "מזלף" as a result. For those of you who are also Olim, I am sure you can relate to the moment I then faced: "Well Shira", I said to myself, "probably that is how you actually say it. But what if it isn't? What if it's actually some swear word in slang, or perhaps an antiquated word? What if she looks at you like a lunatic and it becomes obvious you are a fraud?" Sucking in another deep breath, I advanced toward the clerk and shyly asked "סליחה, יש לך מזלף? לגינה?" I had added "for a garden" just in case. To my surprise and delight she immediately knew what I wanted and looked at me like I was indeed a normal person. She pointed me to the single one left in the store, buried in a corner. It happened to be unsuitable for the secretary, but that's beside the point. 

That moment was rough when I asked and I was waiting in limbo for a half second for her to answer, asking myself "Have I said a real word or did I just ask for gibberish?" I am 22 years old and it should not be a big deal to ask for a watering can. But alas, it really is. It is an ordeal each time. When I shop I try to hide my accent because I'm scared I'll be cheated if labeled a "foreigner." I remain silent in stores and take my chances with google translate rather than using English and risk revealing my identity. We all have to learn at some point, right? This time, it worked out just fine. And onward we go. Each day something new, forever advancing on the journey to feeling truly at home in the homeland. 


השבוע היה כיף כשאני מתקדמת עם הלימודים שלי של השפה והתרבות. כל פעם הקושי יורד עוד טיפה עד שיום אחד יהיה קל 

Translation: This week was fun as I am moving forward in my learning of the language and the culture. Each time the toughness lessens a drop until one day it will be easy.


I remain yours etc.,
Shira 

Moving not "abandoning" anyone!

Hello readers,

I have some news to share, and it's somewhat huge: I'm moving to Jerusalem! After much deliberation and consideration I have come to the decision that I want to finish my second year of Sherut Leumi (still can't decide if I should be a doctor or not, so not the most intelligent decision to run off to start studying anything yet) and I want to do it in the holy capital. There were many components to the decision including my utter disdain for my current living situation, my lack of friends in the area, and my general feelings that this isn't the part of the country I want to live in. I began to feel like I was on the bus all the time to Jerusalem as I was last year. I also really want to help my married siblings and I physically can't reach them during the week with the buses because it takes too long and I'm not able to get back to my apartment in time for work the next day. Essentially I have every other reason to move except for the department that I work in, which is nice to me and I enjoy working there.

This decision was difficult to make, and had many factors. A while ago I had inquired of my Rabbi, only somewhat in jest, what I should do with my life. The Rabbi's answer was direct and simple: "If you see a sign, it means yes." This sentence has been simmering in the back of my mind ever since. When my sister and I had decided we wanted to move to Jerusalem we began looking for positions on the internet. At first I received no leads. I tried again asking for names of coordinators instead of the position itself and this time obtained some information. I called the coordinators at all the major hospitals and received the same answers: "Sorry we have no openings for that position. You could do something else if you'd like." One lady even went so far as to kindly explain that the position of a medical assistant is so specific it is not the kind of thing that opens up in the middle of the year. I realized Jerusalem wasn't for me at this time and that I wasn't supposed to move yet. I was resigned and accepting.

Two days later I received a text saying that actually a position had just opened up asking if it was still relevant to me. I made some phone calls and the same woman who two days before had told me they never open up positions mid-year said that a new Internal ward had opened up and they needed a Medical Assistant (a.k.a. a vampire like myself). The woman told me she thought the position had fallen from the heavens--SIGN NUMBER ONE. We met the next day, and I was immediately accepted (they didn't have any other prospects) and not only that, but it's in the same branch of my current Sherut Leumi program making transfering very easy and not involving any paper work--SIGN NUMBER TWO. Next I was told I should be in touch with the coordinator in charge of apartments. I called her and was told she has exactly one empty spot in an apartment in Kiryat Moshe, which is a religious neighborhood right by the central bus station. I couldn't ask for a more perfect location--SIGN NUMBER THREE.

For the first time in a long while, everything was just falling into place for me. Things just kept working. It was an incredible feeling. I began to understand what the Rabbi meant. So far a few parts have been sad, like saying goodbye to my current department, and the one family that I babysit for and love to pieces, but they've been surprisingly understanding. I'm learning that Israelis are really tough. Their ability to accept and process bad news is amazing. Mostly they have started by being surprised and sad, and then said things like "Okay then, well good luck." "Shira we'll be sad but you have to do what is best for you." These sentiments have really heartened me. I struggle a lot with letting people down, and it's really hard for me to tell people I'm leaving them to go do something else. I'm growing a lot from this experience.

My roommates still have no idea how much I despise some of them (I obviously do not hate them all, but a select and loud minority I find impossible to live with). I think here people just assume if you have a problem you will air it out to everyone so if you're not verbally complaining everything must be just dandy. I'm not from a culture like that. I will always be polite to the people I board with, even if I hate their guts and wish them miles and miles away. Truth be told, my deparment also seems suprised because when I'm at work I look happy and fine, but they don't realize outside of work my life in Kfar Saba is dry and lifeless. They don't realize this because I don't talk about my problems at work! It's not really professional or relevant to them. Sigh, very very different cultures.

Another cultural difference is that the word used when someone leaves is עוזב (abandon) but I refuse to tell people I'm abandoning anyone or any place. I am quit simply, MOVING. I have gotten into arguments with people but I remain strong and refuse to say I'm abandoning. This small linguiscal difference has cultural affects. Abandoning has a negative context, almost as if a guilt trip is built in. Israelis think "No, that's just how we say it. It's the word we use and we all know what it means." This is very true, but I feel it carries with it an ominous undertone.

Well that's all for now. Wish me luck with my new adventure and if you're in Jerusalem do come call on me!

I remain yours etc.,
Shira

אז זהו עוד שלב שעובר אבל יהיה טוב בסוף. קצת קשה לי עכשיו אבל זה מאוד טבעי ויעבור. אני מחכה עד שיהיה גם כל כך ברור מה אלמד והאם אהיה רופאה בסוף או לא. כמו תמיד תודה לה" על כל העזרה שלו.

Translation: So that's it, another level that is passing but it will be good in the end. It is a little hard for me now, but is natural and will pass. I'm waiting until it will also be clear what I will learn and if I will be a doctor in the end or not. Like always, thanks to G-d for all his help.