Happy Friday to you all. Brr, it's cold up here!
This week I would like to share with you a funny story that happened at a cafe this week:
Last month for my English birthday I received from the hospital a gift card to a cafe for a cup of coffee and a pastry. This past week was my Hebrew birthday, so I decided to go to the cafe with a friend of mine in celebration so I could use my gift card. We went right after work at about 4:00 pm. From the moment we entered, the whole setting was nothing but Israeli. It was somewhat bustling and as we neared the till to place our order a short blonde woman in a training-suit-type outfit started barking orders at the baristas. We noticed then that there was actually some construction going on in the cafe. Laborers were changing the wall paper and putting up framed photographs of various poses of coffee. All this during business hours!
After placing our order, we moved to sit down. Of course, the table had a whole tray of sugars and lids because there were photos being put up in the corner where the tray usually sat. As we waited for our coffees, we watched in fascination as the little blonde woman fluttered about yelling at the laborers about how to center the photographs and pestering the baristas to make the coffees faster. About five minutes later it dawned on me that this woman, who seemed to me to belong at the gym, must actually be either the manager or owner! I continued to survey her, mesmerized as I saw her cleaning up trash while asking the laborer she had just told off "do you have something to drink? Is this cola yours? Good!"
Eventually I realized I would have to physically approach the counter if I wanted our cappuccinos to arrive this century so I got up to go over and stand by the counter--my physical presence reminding the overworked baristas that I had ordered. Some minutes later, our cappuccinos finally in hand, my friend and I settled comfortably into our seats to try and have a relaxing discussion, despite the hullabaloo going on all around us. Suddenly, I noticed one photograph that had just been hung up (not with a nail, but rather with sticky tack on the back) seemed wrong. I stared for a long while and then concluded that it was upside down! I take a fair amount of photographs of coffee so I was fairly confidant of my assessment.
I debated with myself if I should do the "Israeli" thing and tell them, or just keep this small piece of knowledge to myself. I gave in with a "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" and stopped the next barista passing by. "Excuse me, but that picture is upside down." I don't know what I was anticipating her reaction to be--perhaps denial? or a polite "I'll check into it," or any number of ordinary responses. What I definitely did not expect was her to cock her head, actually dip her skull a full ninety degrees to the side and mutter "Hmmm..." Then she frantically asked the laborer if he could still change the orientation of the photograph or was the tack already dry. I hadn't noticed, but this had become the central happening of the cafe as customers and workers alike waited with bated breath to see what would happen next. Working quickly, they flipped the photo to a communal sigh of consensus and a loud "hupa!"
All continued on as usual then, and I got back to my date with my friend. I was feeling quite self-satisfied with the proceedings and chuckling to myself at my "only-in-Israel" experience. My American friend was still shocked by my Chutzpah. As we were preparing to depart I saw one laborer gazing intently at the photograph and then angrily declaring to the manager/owner "You know what? now it's upside down to me! I think it was right the other way!"
I left grinning. What a typical afternoon in an Israeli cafe! The only thing missing in this picture was some well-meaning stranger trying to set me up with their son. Maybe next time... :D
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| Here's the photo--I knew you're all so Israeli and therefore need to see the photo for yourselves. :D |
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One other incident happened this week. Because I am leaving my department at the hospital, I want to buy a present for the secretary because she has always been overwhelmingly kind and patient with me, and over the last year we have grown somewhat close. She has several plants in her office, so the obvious choice is to purchase a tasteful watering can for her.
I happened to be at a large mall last week so I entered a quaint gift shop full of knick-knacks, hopeful I would find exactly what I was looking for. I combed the store to no avail, there was no watering pail in sight. I decided I would have to ask the clerk. Of course, I have no idea how to say watering can in Hebrew. I stubbornly refused to ask in English, despite the fact that I was in a major mall in Tel Aviv and obviously they would also understand English.
Swallowing my pride I jotted "watering can" into Google translate and got "מזלף" as a result. For those of you who are also Olim, I am sure you can relate to the moment I then faced: "Well Shira", I said to myself, "probably that is how you actually say it. But what if it isn't? What if it's actually some swear word in slang, or perhaps an antiquated word? What if she looks at you like a lunatic and it becomes obvious you are a fraud?" Sucking in another deep breath, I advanced toward the clerk and shyly asked "סליחה, יש לך מזלף? לגינה?" I had added "for a garden" just in case. To my surprise and delight she immediately knew what I wanted and looked at me like I was indeed a normal person. She pointed me to the single one left in the store, buried in a corner. It happened to be unsuitable for the secretary, but that's beside the point.
That moment was rough when I asked and I was waiting in limbo for a half second for her to answer, asking myself "Have I said a real word or did I just ask for gibberish?" I am 22 years old and it should not be a big deal to ask for a watering can. But alas, it really is. It is an ordeal each time. When I shop I try to hide my accent because I'm scared I'll be cheated if labeled a "foreigner." I remain silent in stores and take my chances with google translate rather than using English and risk revealing my identity. We all have to learn at some point, right? This time, it worked out just fine. And onward we go. Each day something new, forever advancing on the journey to feeling truly at home in the homeland.
השבוע היה כיף כשאני מתקדמת עם הלימודים שלי של השפה והתרבות. כל פעם הקושי יורד עוד טיפה עד שיום אחד יהיה קל
Translation: This week was fun as I am moving forward in my learning of the language and the culture. Each time the toughness lessens a drop until one day it will be easy.
I remain yours etc.,
Shira
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