Although it is quite shocking, I am posting yet again! This work is from the summer, when I still felt new at my job as a medical Secretary. It is fun to look back, to reminisce, and to recall those very terrifying moments. I am an individual who records best when I am “in the thick of things” and that is why I wrote this piece many months ago. I want to share that these days, I sigh for different reasons at my place of occupation...namely boredom! But thank G-d, I manage. I still feel I help people (even if they are not always grateful) and it is lovely to feel competent. Also, I make phone calls for between six and 10 hours a day, so I am becoming quite efficient at the deed.
In any case, please enjoy these musings of some months ago, and laugh with me now as we recall...
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I haven’t even sat down yet and I already hear the annoying buzzing.
I have just finished a morning at the lab and I took the bus over. Yes, I don’t only work here. Yes I have a bachelors of science and yes I am involved in cancer research, and yes I try to help humanity. I really do try.
It’s 87 F outside and walking down the hill has made me sweaty.
I just want to sit down to look who is on call today, and who has appointments open so I can answer your questions quickly and correctly. I haven’t even fully sat down before the woman pounces on me. “What do I do now?” she asks? “I just finished my x-ray and blood work.” I look around and try to orient myself to who she is and what she wants from me. My brain rapidly processes that most likely she is here for a green card, that she was signed in by someone else who told you to come back to them after your x ray and blood work.
“Just have a seat and wait for the doctor to call you,” I patiently reply to Mrs. Visa ‘s question. I sigh internally.
I open the computer program and start to look at the schedule. I still have five minutes until I officially get on shift. “Ahem,” a loud voice grumbles. There are three other secretaries and I’m seated at the last computer in the corner with my head bent intently towards the screen. I have actually practiced by slight and intense frown when I’m staring at the computer so people will see I am busy. It never seems to work, however. I continue staring at the screen not because I don’t want to help Mr. Ahem, but rather because if I don’t figure out who is on call I won’t be able to book appointments or direct any of the phone calls I am about to start answering.
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Without moving my head, my fingers deftly move to the phone pad to put the incoming call on hold until someone can answer it. I have just figured out who is on call when a shrill voice says “I have an appointment with Dr. B, two o-clock.” I am forced to wrench my gaze up but the woman has already left, and I find myself staring at a very angry Mr. Ahem who thinks I’ve ignored him to help Ms. Shrill instead of himself who has been patiently, I am sure he thinks that’s how he’s been,waiting for five whole minutes!
“I need my prescriptions!” he shouts in my face. I sigh audibly this time, and as I take his card he has all but thrust in my face, I try to quickly sign in Ms. Shrill. She hasn’t passed her card this quarter. I’ll need to track her down to do so. Keeping this third sigh inside, I reach for the binders to find Mr. Ahem his prescriptions. I look through the whole section where his last name should be. I look twice. I see nothing. Bracing myself for an explosion, I say as politely as I can muster “I am sorry (really I am) but I don’t see your prescription here. Go check with the nurses and see if they have it by them.” He doesn’t even think I deserve a response, he just huffs loudly and marches to the nurses station.
I look down and see three phone calls need to be answered. I decide I need to jump in.
“Hello it’s the family medical clinic, good afternoon.”
“WHY DON’T YOU ANSWER THE PHONE!? I’VE BEEN WAITING TEN MINUTES!”
I gingerly lift the phone away from my ear so I won’t go deaf. I haven’t even been here for ten minutes, but of course I haven’t answered her phone call.
“Yes, I’m sorry it’s a bit busy here.” I try to go for a sweet tone but I worry it’s come out a little sour.
“Well, Dr. N didn’t call me back yet and I need that referral right now! I’m in the office of the podiatrist.”
Well lady of the foot, I love how you think I know exactly what you’re talking about. I love how you are already in the office of the podiatrist and you don’t have the referral.
“What’s your name?” I ask. I’m gonna see if there’s anything in the wall.
“GAVRIELLA L!” she screams. I wonder to myself why she finds this basic question so offensive. I turn to the wall and look under L. No referral for our Lady of the foot.
I pick the phone back up to report this to her. She is NOT happy. “But I left him a message this morning!” Oh, too bad she didn’t start by saying that.”
“Hang on just one sec,” I go for a soothing tone. I don’t think she’s buying it but I put her on hold before I can hear her complaints. I quickly search this morning’s messages and sure enough there at 8:05 is a message labeled URGENT! for Dr. N from her. He hasn’t read the message yet. Oh dear.
Making sure she is still on hold, I dial Dr. N’s number.
“Yes?” he answers curtly. He’s clearly in the middle of seeing a patient. My interrupting him will only slow him down and make him run later, but no one seems to understand this.
“Sorry to bother you,” I start apologetically. At least with him I can hear that my tone has an effect, “It’s ok” he says more softly. I hurriedly explain lady of the foot’s predicament and he affirms my sinking suspicion that he has absolutely no idea what I or she is talking about. “I’ll write her a referral anyway though, just as soon as I finish here.” He hangs up.
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I ignore the terribly buzzing of the phones to update Lady of the Foot. She is not happy and lets me know it. The way she is going on, you would think not only that I was her doctor and had the ability to write her a referral and was simply withholding doing so just to bother her, but that I had known about it and had forgotten!
Finally I get off the phone with her. I glance up, and six people are waiting to be helped. Only one other secretary is sitting with me. While I was on the phone, one of them got up to go work on projects and the other one has...maybe gone to the bathroom? I am sure they told me, or tried to. I guess I didn’t hear them. The girl next to me is trapped on the phone with the insurance of the man with the wailing child standing by her. She’ll be on the line with them for a while it seems.
I quickly ask “who’s next?”
Three people just need to be signed in to their appointments and they all brought their medical cards. Thank G-d. Next is a woman who wants to pay for an X-ray. She asks how much it is and I say one moment since I have to look her up by name to see if she’s supposed to get a discount. She looks a little confused. It is weird that I wouldn't know the price of something that I obviously do every day. I know she doesn’t realize that different patients get different prices, but it doesn’t lesson the blow to my ego when she looks at me like I’m an idiot.
“It’s 50 shekel,” I tell her. She hands me her credit card and we quickly finish the transaction.
Meantime my coworker has finished the phone call and managed to help the remaining people in line. She has somehow also managed to answer all three waiting phone calls. Man, when will I ever stop feeling so new?
For a rare moment there is quiet. I reach for my mobile just to check...BAM!
Up waltzes Dr. M “מי פנוי, מי פנוי?” he sings as he waves a sheaf of papers at the desk. I raise my hand and he tells me to make him copies of these five pages, fax those other two pages, and the patient who is trailing behind him was a “returning visit, rash on face.”
I nod, and set the sheaf of papers down. I take payment from the kind tourist who is patient. Then I set to work faxing and copying.
It’s been 45 minutes since I got to work. It’s going to be a long day.
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I remain yours etc,
Shira
