Hello friends,
I think a quick life update is in order. It is the end of June and
I am off for the summer. :)
I completed my time at Midrasha (Seminary) and learned a lot while
there. I spent about three or four months there, and I had so many experiences!
I lived away from home for the first time (with just one sister, so I think it
really ought to count as on my own). I lived on the campus of the school in a
dorm. It was fascinating to live with people who weren't my family members. I
learned a lot about myself, and how much I am like my parents. I understand
this is a very common phenomenon when young adults leave the nest. I also
learned that I really am an Israeli-American hybrid, and frighteningly, have
been my whole life.
It's kind of unsettling actually, to feel like I don't really
belong in either place. I'm just so
Israeli to my American friends. And here in Israel I'm unforgivably American. This
came up at Seminary in a couple of different episodes. Once, upon discovering
my strong revulsion of Chalva (a deplorable yet popular snack in Israel made
from Sesame. Yuck!) a roommate of mine proudly informed me that she had finally
found one thing she was more Israeli than me in. Imagine that! I was a little
bit taken aback by her comment, especially because she said it so passionately.
I guess The Roommates had caught on to my tendency to take short showers
(water-saving), eat rich breakfasts (as opposed to just cereal and milk), wash
dishes by first lathering soap on all of them and only then washing them (the
water-saving way), my bone-deep love of sunflower seeds, and my fondness of
wearing sandals for just about every occasion--irregardless of the formality of
the function. Most of these habits I'd picked up from my father in America
without any concise thought. Of course I picked up just as many quaint American
manners from my mother, like waiting in proper lines, saying “excuse me” if I bump
into somebody, and not sharing my personal opinions or life advice with
strangers I happen upon. In any event, I’ve began to realize that I'm really
half--half and it's time to embrace this identity. Not only am a citizen in
this country because I am Jewish and chose to return to my homeland, but I've
been a citizen since birth!
This realization has given me a lot to ponder, and in some ways
has bolstered my confidence, while in other ways rattled me to the core. This
epiphany has aided me in fielding some of people's unwarranted comments and
general feeling of foreignness because I feel a really strong right to be here,
and also I don't feel the same longing to be "Israeli" that I've seen
in many of my friends and acquaintances. I have met people who really feel (or
at least seem to me) that the end-all goal is to speak Hebrew “like an
Israeli,” and be culturally “Israeli” in everything they do and think and feel.
I don't really understand this desire for two reasons:
1)
You can’t help where you were born, in what country, time, or
region. It’s not up to you what your mother tongue is, or how many languages
are spoken in your home. Why try and pretend or make up for an upbringing that
wasn’t yours?
2)
If you moved here for religious reasons, and with a desire to
settle the land then just being here and living life here is fulfilling that commandment and/or dream. G-d said live in
Israel. G-d didn’t say “be Israeli.” If you are Israeli and you live in
Israel—wonderful. Then your culture and language match your region. If you’re not
Israeli but live in Israel, well try very hard to learn and use Hebrew (it’s
the language of the land), and it is definitely smoother if you understand it’s
a different culture than where you came from, but you can’t be “Israeli” if you
grew up in a different culture. And it seems painful to keep pushing for this unattainable
and sort of silly goal.
Many people talk about doing “Israeli things” and integrating into
society as a goal of the highest importance. I’ve even heard of families who
come from America and only let their children be friends with Israeli kids and
no other Olim children who speak English because they want their kids to be
Israeli and not have any problems in society.
From the above example it would seem that it’s the most important
thing ever to assimilate into Israeli society. Yet I remain unconvinced. I
think it’s important to try and understand it, and not to feel the need to
change it. It’s very useful to know what is rude here, and what is expected. I’m
not in America anymore and I’ve realized that. Some things that I would modify
maybe should not be changed because they have reasons based on how Israel
functions, where it’s located on the map, and a whole bundle of other really
fantastic reasons that my newbie self has little or no knowledge of.
With all of this I’m still American and I’m not sure why people
think that’s such a bad thing. Is the Hebrew-only speaking Sabra fulfilling
settling the land of Israel better than I am just because he doesn’t get
confused at the bank and doesn’t take two and a half hours to fill out an
application? It’s certainly easier for him to live here but I don’t really see
how he’s doing anything more than the French Oleh that made Aliyah to be a lone
soldier in the IDF, or the family from Britain that moved here to build a life
here. We all; are living in a time where we have the privilege and blessing of
being able to live in our homeland. We all can reap benefit from this amazing
gift.
Anyway,
those are my impressions so far. I don’t understand a lot of things I see and
hear here, but I’m learning more and more every day. I’m probably writing too
much again, so I’ll end here. Hopefully I will write more of my experiences and
impressions of living in Jerusalem in the next post. Until then dear readers,
be well and I hope everyone everywhere is staying cool.
כשהייתי מדרשה פעם אחת אכלתי עם כמה חברות שלי בדירה שלהן. באמצע הסעודה רציתי להגיד להן שהיה יותר מדי אוכל אז אמרתי "ואי יש הרבה אוכל ואהיה שמנת!" כולכן צחקו עליי ושאלתי "מה? מה אמרתי?" הן הסבירו לי שהאנגלית אמרתי "I am cream" במקום "I'll be fat" מה שהייתי צריכה להגיד היה "אהיה שמנה" :)
Translation: When I was in Midrasha one time I ate with some of my friends in their apartment. In the middle of the meal I wanted to tell them that there was too much food. So I said "Why, I'll be cream!" All of them laughed at me and I asked "what? What did I say?" They explained to me in English that I had said "I'll be whip cream" instead of "I'll be fat." :)
I
remain as always, yours etc,
Shira
P.S a few mistakes in the Hebrew I couldn't easily fix because I'm posting from my laptop and I don't have a Hebrew keypad yet. Sorry for all the prefix mistakes/lacks. Also it comes out in a funny color because I type it on my phone and copy and paste from email and a whole bunch of nonsense. I'll work on using a Keyboard next time... Thanks for your patience.
