Okay this is me posting...no for real this time! It's been two months people! That's a long time, you know.
So today let's talk about the people I spend most of my day with. The species with which I communicate daily, that is the ever feared and sometimes revered ISRAELIS.
Let's analyze a typical evening for a bat sherut (girl doing national service, literally daughter of service): Last night my friend and roommate came back to the apartment complaining of red, itchy eyes. Her eyes were quite swollen, and had been all day. She works in the hospital like me, and she told me she had told the nurses all day. Finally at the end of the day one of them said to her it sure looked like pink eye and she should take eye drops. Another nurse protested, don't give her drops until we know what it is! Send her to a doctor first. They couldn't manage to get a doctor to write her a referral to the emergency room (although really he could just scrawl "please take so and so to the ER", and as long as he used his doctor stamp it would work. But whatever), and of course she can't just go to the eye ward of the hospital, it "doesn't work like that." She was told all this and then given a number for a clinic. When I saw how much she was suffering and how hurt she was by the less-than-helpful hospital staff she worked with, I told her "yallah we'll go together, maybe we can even grab dinner on the way back." Of course she got red puffy eyes on Valentines day. <3
We interacted with six individuals/sets of people. Here is my synopsis of the Israeli condition from the following sample.
1) When you ask a girl for help and the nearby male jumps to the rescue.
Know those types? The dreamy, dark, former Combat soldiers with bulging muscles, sultry skin, and fathomless eyes? Yup, we talked with him. After descending from the bus on the main street, we weren't sure how to get to the side street we needed. We went in to a little health food shop on the main drag and asked the female teller how to get to the street we needed. From a different part of the store the aforementioned hottie hollered "I'll show you! Come with me." He promptly lead us out and in typical Israeli fashions pointed and a lot and gesticulates with his hands. He even called us back to say he wasn't sure if it was two or three traffic circles. What a sweetie. He was NICE.
2) When you go to the doctor and he's angry at the world and makes you feel like a twit for being sick
We arrived and the harried secretary gave us a number for room 6 with a family doctor. Sababa, we went to wait. As we watched the others in front of us in line enter the room we began to get apprehensive as the doctor kept walking in and out and slamming the door, Nevertheless we waited our turn and then entered.
Doctor: Who are you?
Roommate: I'm sick.
Doctor: Good sit here. And who are you?
Me: Friend and roommate,
Doc: Fine, sit there.
He then proceeded to demand her symptoms, hardly actually checking her, let alone making eye contact with her. She meekly described what she was suffering from as he furiously typed, pounding on the keys and typing the lord knows what, since he wasn't actually discussing her symptoms with her,
The short visit continued like this, my friend timidly repeating what the nurses had suspected, and he decided she may have a small infection and proscribed her some eye drops. Oh, her throat hurts? Well okay he'll just slam a wooden paddle down her throat...only to proclaim "nope, all clear."
As we were ushered out, my roommate, who grew up in America, was telling me how appalled she was. She was so angry, and had never encountered a doctor who actually made her feel foolish for coming to him! With her blood boiling, I tried to calm her down. He was NOT NICE.
3) When the checker patronizes you instead of screaming. Not sure what's worse actually
We went to the 5 shekel supermarket which was nearby and new to the area. We excitedly piled our items at the checkout and I added a coffee chocolate bar (super yum), After I had paid and was bagging (yes, bagging myself. Help with bagging is a major luxury here), I realized I had accidentally bought dark chocolate not milk chocolate. When I asked the checker if I could switch because I hadn't noticed it was dark she responded with "No honey." "Why not?" I asked. "Because cutie, then I would have to use a different code. You have to tell me before you pay." And she gave me the you're such an idiot I feel bad for you look. She was NOT NICE.
4) When the bus driver yells at you for putting your rav kav (special bus card/pass) in the wrong way-classic
My poor, sweet roommate. We waited at the bus stop for a bus to the mall and we saw one and ran to a different stop a little bit up the street because here, the buses sort of only stop where they want, and when they want. So if you see one you must wave your arms like a crazy person and hail the bus the way people hail cabs in New York. Strange place. Anyway, as we breathlessly got on he told me to go back and use my rav kav in the machine in the back part of the bus, My roommate didn't hear it and stuck her card in the front machine, Mistake! She was told off and he readjusted her card. He was NOT NICE.
5) When the security guard jokes around and then you flirt back :D
We made it to the mall. My roommate's flying back to The States to visit her family, so we decided to go there to look for jewelry for her sisters and mother. The security guard looked in our shopping bags from the supermarket jokingly remarking "so what did you bring me, Oooh, I see bamba!" to which I immediately insisted he take a bag. "I even bought two!" I told him, He didn't go for it, but he smiled quite prettily and I think we made him laugh. He was NICE.
6) Shopkeepers sort of have to be nice if they want you to buy stuff...
And indeed they were, Totally polite and understanding about our tiny budget since we're broke bnot sherut. We ended up getting gifts for her mom and sister. They were persuasive but also NICE.
So there you have it. One night, six encounters, three nice and three not nice. The Israeli is indeed hard to figure out and they often leave me stumped. The same girl who can yell at you for 10 minutes strait about your place at work and being out of line can turn around the next day and spend hours helping you with boy trouble. The same super sweet, polite, doctor can be tired one day and yell at all the patients. To be honest, I'm still baffled.
Until next time, I remain yours etc,
Shira
Temporarily not posting in Hebrew because only have English keys on the laptop. I'll work on that :D
But to go with the theme, this is a funny little snippet of something that happened today:
Roommate: Ugh, there are no little markets around here.
Me: What are you talking about? There's one down the street! *Points in direction of market*
Roommate: No, it closed.
Me (somewhat reflectively): So that's what that long, handwritten sign in Hebrew that I didn't bother to read that was posted on the door was about...
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