December: Tests and Nice People

Hello dear readers,

It is now mid-December and a coolness has settled over the land. To be honest, it feels more like Autumn to me, but I guess I come from a much colder climate.

I have been doing well overall, thank G-d. I've been feeling quite tested lately--mentally, physically, in all areas really. Perhaps it is because I was an unschooler for my formative years, but I still have not grown accustomed to graded examination of any sort. There is something quite unpleasant about another person being granted the judgment of how adequate I perform a task. There is something subjective and downright unfair about the whole operation. In any case, I detest examinations by anyone except myself, performed on myself. Self-testing I accept because I recall learning in a course entitled "Thinking" that testing is an effective way of learning. Testing--but nothing about grades. Just the act of recall aids in the encoding process. One of the exams I had to take was earlier this week. It was yet another theoretical exam (this time just on phlebotomy) in Hebrew. I made enough of a fit that I received help in English. I had wanted to write a blog post chronicling all deceptions and outright lies I was told about it, but I have decided I lack the energy to write about it. I am just relived that exam is over, and all I have left for phlebotomy is a practical exam this upcoming week.

I have digressed and lectured you all long enough on my enmity of testing. Let us discuss what else is new in my life. I have been working in the hospital, and really enjoying it. I work with an excellent team of doctors, nurses, CNAs, social worker, and secretary. They are all so kind and understanding. They know I struggle with Hebrew, but they also know I am an extremely hard worker. Once, one of the doctors approached me and asked if I could call a different hospital to make inquiries about radiation treatment for a patient of ours. He explained to me what to do, but tacked on that if I found it too hard to do on the phone it was alright, he could do it when he finished rounds! His consideration astounded me. I, of course, wanted to try, so set out to the secretary's office. I told her I wanted to try to phone the hospital on my own, but would she mind if I did it in her office just in case I ran into any trouble or misunderstanding? She complied, and I made the phone call. Thank G-d the woman who answered was patient and understandable. I got the information I needed and passed it on to the doctor. Every component of the above tale testifies to the sheer amiability of the staff I work with!

And it is in this condition I find myself enjoying work, despite it being in a hard ward. I disfavor working in Internal Medicine, as I find it very sad. I had never fully realized just how ill people can be. Sometimes we have patients with such an extensive list of ailments, it takes several minutes before we reach the current complaint. Death is also a part of daily life for me. It's very difficult and painful for me. I intend to pen a poem on the very topic, and perhaps when I do I will share it. Suffice it so say that the sound of grief is no stranger to me now, and that is not something to be proud of at all.

Well, there is always more I could tell. I could describe the less pleasant encounters I have at work, they are almost exclusively Hebrew related. But, let us just dwell on the positive for a while. I will just be grateful in this moment to G-d, my family, and friends that I am doing alright today, well over a year after Aliyah.

  לי בארץ אני מרגישה 'ה כמאת כל יום. יש המון דברים קשים לעשות ולעבור ותמיד הם לא בשפה או תרבות שלי. מה אני עושה? עובדת כל כך קשה ומתפללת ומדברת איתו. הכל יהיה בסדר

Translation: For me, in Israel I feel G-d nearly every day. There are lots of hard things to do and overcome and always they are not in my language or culture. What do I do? I work really hard and I pray, and I talk with Him. Everything will be okay.

I remain yours etc,
Shira