If At First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try again--Wow That Get Old

Hello readers,

Today is a cozy stormy day in Israel and seems like the perfect day to compose a blog post. I've just turned on the official Pride and Prejudice soundtrack so I can get straight to it!

The other day I needed to get the phone number of a specific office. I had previously been directed to call a Moked (I guess sort of like an information hotline?). After much procrastination I settled in to do the task. I called the Moked and was immediately bombast-ed by an automated menu all in Hebrew. It was fast, complicated, and unclear. I tried to hit the option I thought I wanted...but it didn't work. I hung up.  I renewed my resolve and redialed. Again the prerecorded list of options was presented to me and this time I tried to hear it all the way through, concluding that I must have missed the "speak with a breathing human being" option. I failed afresh and shut my phone once more.

I hunkered down and called yet again, my resolve staying firm but my annoyance building. I tried and tried to puzzle out the meanings of the lavish verbs and nouns they felt appropriate for the machine to use. For the third time I was unsuccessful in reaching a human being to get the number from and my understanding still disastrous. I dialed the number for a fourth time. The now familiar menu once again said it's piece and I impulsively decided to go with what possibly sounded like the option of speaking with a person if I stretched my imagination very much. It worked! I was put through to a woman who after I explained what I needed was super efficient and kind. The interaction took all of three minutes.

I left this situation in a musing mood. On the one hand I was very proud of myself for getting the number I needed. The whole ordeal was all in Hebrew and I didn't have to ask for help even once. That feeling was amazing. On the other hand, it took me four tries to call a simple line and get a phone number. I'm a twenty-something and I cannot complete a simple phone call. I was disappointed with myself and frustrated that as an Olah a straightforward task becomes such an ordeal.

I realized that this is where I am in my Aliyah. Thank G-d I am able to get many things done*, but it takes me several tries. It is hard for me to get things done correctly the first time, and because I moved here as an already-competent adult, this regression is onerous for me. I have indeed progressed since I first came here when I couldn't do anything and required aid for each undertaking. I am grateful for that but I am still exasperated that I am not as I once was. The echos of a past Shira continuously remind me that I used to be cool, that I used to be independent, and that I used to be  efficient.

As youngsters we are told "if at first you don't succeed try and try again. Well when you're a child and this adage is thrust at you it's easier to take in stride and just try again. But when it feels like you're all grown up and should be able to take care of yourself,  it's less elementary to have another go. Sometimes it's  just a drudge and even though I am thankful I can eventually make the phone call and piece the meaning together, I still miss the old Shira.

*(Please note that not everything can I get done and please don't leave this post thinking that I completely manage and I do get into many scrapes which I may record at another time).

I remain yours etc,
Shira