March Life Update :)

Greetings readers,

I had stopped writing here because I was finding the posts too depressing and morbid. However, the fans (dare I address anyone as such?) have protested and thus I find myself again staring at the computer screen, wondering how best to showcase my life without making anyone want to cry.

Well, despite that dreary introduction, life is actually improving. I've passed the six month anniversary of my Aliyah (moving to Israel) and I can see that in some respects I am getting more comfortable and accustomed to the ways of the people here, and some of the places themselves.

Since I last wrote, of course much has changed. I finished Ulpan, although don't know how I did on the final exam yet. I recently moved to Jerusalem to learn in Seminary (A Jewish religious school just for girls). I'm learning in the overseas program which is taught in English (although of course 90% of our books and sources are in Hebrew) and is open to girls of all ages. Some people asked me why I didn't just go to learn in the Israeli program which is all in Hebrew, and my answer was that I wanted to go to Seminary to learn Torah, and I'm learning it for me, so I can be a better Jew, and I can understand more of my Avodat Hashem (work of G-d). In my mind, it doesn't matter what language I do that in, meaning I could do it through pictures if it would help me, or in sign language. I am going there for the material, and I really want to understand what I am learning. At this point in my life I understand a lot more in English than I do in Hebrew, especially subtlety and details. And that's what I'm doing. I really love it there, and I'm learning a lot. Oh, and just to clarify I do actually take a couple of extra courses that are in Hebrew. I get much less out of them of course, but I try. And I am always looking for more to augment my studies.

Moving right along, Midrasha (Seminary) is going well, I'm making a lot of friends and I am very lucky because one of the girls from my Yishuv studies there as well! I am even fortunate enough to live very close to her, like just across the hall! We hang out a lot, and she helps me learn Hebrew. :) Also in my Yishuv I find myself feeling closer to the people here, and understanding them more than I used to. As time goes on many of the girls in my Shevet know my feelings on Hebrew, and now they can laugh with me when I make faces at the what's app group, and when I send photos people respond and know who I am. I'm still really quiet, and I'm not sure how long it will take for that to change, or even if it ever will. Maybe I will forever be a quieter type in Hebrew, and maybe that's okay. Many people associate silence and slow delivery of speech with mystery, snobbishness, and intrigue. So perhaps my issues of self expression in Hebrew will actually serve me well and make people think I am loads more interesting then I actually am. I mean, hypothetically people could mistake my long pause (where in reality I am searching for a word or translating a phrase) for deep introspection, and this will make my answer more important or interesting.

On a related note, at Seminary as I find myself in more conversations in English I realize it is so much easier to accidentally be mean or insulting. I didn't realize that having to measure each word and painstakingly prepare it before I deliver it, something I have always found dreadful and agonizing, could actually be a gift. When I calculate each word so meticulously I am much less likely to hurt or insult people. I can really be a master of my speech, and when I look at it in that light, it's actually remarkable. Just as one man's trash can be another's treasure, sometimes torment can actually be a legacy.

Lastly (I daresay I am always droning on endlessly on these posts; so sorry) here are some photographs of my Purim celebration today. Two photographs of are the lovely meal I attended--a "before" and an "after." And then one photograph is of the Mishloach Manot (gifts) I received. :)

I remain yours etc,
Shira


כן כן חיים שלי הוא ממשיכים כל יום . עדיין יש צרות אבל עכשיו לפעמים גם יש רגעים גדולים . לפעמים אני מרגישה אני ואני לומד איך להרגיש יותר נוח חוץ מהבית שלי (הוא מקום אנגלית). אני מקווה שיהיה היום בקרוב כשאני לא לדאוג . אני מחכה לפגוש עוד אנשים נחמדים במיוחד בעלי/בעלות מדות . אפילו שאני צעיר בחיים שמתי לב שאין מהשו יותר חשוב ממדות בבן אדם באמת בסוף היום אין דברים כאלא.

Translation: Yes yes, my life continues every day. Still there are troubles, but now sometimes there are also great moments. Sometimes I feel like myself, and I am learning how to feel more comfortable outside of my house (it's an English place). I hope that there will be a day soon when I will not worry. I am waiting to meet more nice people, especially masters of Middot (good character attributes). Even though I am young I have noticed in my life that there is nothing more important than Middot in a person. Really, at the end of the day there is nothing like it.